Think Before You Speak: 10 Ways to Not Say Things You Don’t Mean
We can only keep up with our emotions only for a while, worst when these sentiments have already strained the peak of eruption. Before we know it, we’ve vent our frustrations all over the person’s face and space. Although we didn’t mean it, we end up getting them hurt. Bottom line: it gets difficult for us to mend the damage done.
Before you run all over your mouth, think before you speak: you’ll be able to protect yourselves from shame, and prevent further loss of trust. How is this attainable? Keep your eyes on this article, and you will absolutely seek the guidance you need to avoid unnecessary arguments, now and then.
Speak tenderly. Starting off the quarrel in screams and shrieks will only hinder your thoughts from reaching the other person. The more intense you lift your voice up, the more you speak words of hate and blame. Do not provoke your mouth. Speaking softly will definitely reduce your anger. As opposed to a screaming match, you are able to put your perspectives in a better abode.
Chew gum. Popping a piece of gum will keep your mouth occupied, and you just might be able to avoid spurting things you are bound to regret, otherwise. It blocks you from screaming back and that’s better in its own good ways.
Recognize the situation. Assessing the atmosphere during a quarrel makes you more sensitive and able to change your approach. Much more, you can be able to determine the circumstances that can affect the heated argument.
Never accuse. Telling the other about things he/she might have done without any premises is not going to resolve the problem. You are not going to achieve the conclusion of the argument, instead, you both will end up in hysterical assumptions of the other. It’s best to use the facts you have, and set the consequences without bellowing mean things that you can’t take back afterwards.
Listen properly. You always interrupt the other one from explaining, and this is not one way good to fix the conflict between you. Listening always leads to a decent communication, and it allows you to exchange views and outlooks. When you learn to listen, you have taken one step towards reclaim.
Knowing the person. We have a sense of protecting any relationship we have with the people we know. If relationship is important to you, not that you have to put yourself down or lie to make someone else feel good, but you need to put into consideration the feelings of the other person. Who knows? He/she might view you as someone special, and disregarding that fact, you end up bringing them down.
Stay presently. Note to ponder: never use past experiences in an argument. Bringing all these buried stuffs will only add to the lists of dispute and push up old problems back again. Having two conflicts to fight about will only drag you deeper from reaching the surface of your conclusion. The fight never summons old wounds, it must always stick to the present.
Provide good reasons. “I told you so,” is not a good line that should be mentioned during the quarrel. It doesn’t work and causes resentments which can lead to behaviour problems. But, the emotional wounds still remain. Words are very powerful, use them wisely.
Don’t Disregard Feelings. All our emotions are real. We feel real hurt, real love, and real disappointment from the people we call friends, lovers, family. We should understand that as human beings, we have the commitment to never judge what they feel.
Empathize appropriately. It may seem harder than it actually is, however, putting yourself in the life of the other person may be the only gateway to understand what they want to get through to you. The key is the first word of the paragraph, itself. It keeps you from straying away from the distant, and brings you closer to the individual’s horizon. You both will be able to comprehend each other better.