Taking care of children is one of life’s most difficult tasks. A lot of experts have different opinions on how you should raise your child, and while there are things that are still being debated, it’s universally agreed upon that what you say to your kids could affect their futures heavily.
And so, with the vast expanse of experts who have gathered all of their wisdom and consulted a great number of parents with their opinions being heard, these 8 things are what you should NEVER say to your child.
- “Hurry Up!” – Kids are slow. There’s no denying that. They’re still learning how to do stuff and they’re not quite good at that yet either. So when you rush them because you’re in a hurry, they’ll feel like they’re a burden to you and will start losing the will to learn new things. This will lead to your children avoiding new experiences just so that they can avoid wasting your time.
- “I’m Busy” or “Leave Me Alone” – We have work to do and we may not have enough time or energy left in the day to spend with our kids. But if you keep pushing them away, they’ll just stop trying to spend time with you. This could lead to an early fall out in your relationship and you’ll find that your kids will avoid approaching. If you really are busy though, make sure you don’t just tell them that, but explain to them why you can’t spend time with them right now, but will make time for them as soon as possible.
- “Stop Crying” – Crying and laughing are the two things children are really good at, with the former happening more often than the latter. And children will always cry for a reason. Maybe they’re uncomfortable or in pain, or even to get your attention. What matters most is you should never tell them to just stop crying, and instead ask why they’re doing so. If you make it seem like you don’t want to listen to their concerns, then they’ll begin to bottle their emotions and you’ll most likely never get to have an honest conversation anymore.
- “Why can’t you be more like…” – Comparing your kids to someone else is one of the worst things you can do as a parent. Not only does it destroy their self-esteem, but you will make them feel like they’re never good enough for you. Your child is special, and while they may not be as good at some things that your neighbor’s kids excel at, they have their own unique talents that you need to nurture so that they can bloom into becoming the best person they can be.
- “Good Job!” Just saying this and not explaining why they did a good job is meaningless. The kid will just assume that you’re praising them for whatever they did, but not how or why they did it. If you’re going to praise your kid, be more specific. Point out what he did right that made you feel proud, so that they can continue doing so in the future.
- “You Know Better Than That!” – You’re talking to a child. You are decades older and more experienced, so chances are they don’t know any better. Telling your kid that they shouldn’t have done something because it’s common sense will get you nowhere. Your child needs to learn, and they learn through mistakes. That’s how we all started after all.
- “Wait Until Mommy/Daddy Gets Home!” – No one wants to be the mean parent. That’s why most couples will turn to their spouse when disciplining their children, opting to be the “fun” and “cool” parent. But that’s not fair to your spouse or your children. You are both equals when it comes to raising your children, and it’s important to take turns being the strict disciplinarian. If you’re always the fun parent, your children won’t respect your authority or opinions, and they’ll start hating your spouse who’s stuck being the bad guy. A united front is a must in every home, and us parents need to stay on the same team.
- “You’re so…” Describing your kids with any harmful adjective will leave a mark that cannot be seen but also cannot be removed. Being specific with your insults will cause the child to remember that specific word and what it associates to, and they’ll forever think that since they were described that way, that it’s the truth. They’ll limit themselves and become stuck in a rut, forever thinking that they can’t be any more than what you described them to be. Avoid calling them anything and focus on what they should’ve done to avoid making a mistake, and not the mistake itself.